i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
