Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
