Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
