i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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