i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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