You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
