i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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