I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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