i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
