just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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