Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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