I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
