Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
farters have to be the big spoon...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I believe in your delicious
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize