I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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