Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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