If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
