Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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