fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This baby is an asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
