Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
