I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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