I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
