you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
