You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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