This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
