Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
