i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
