we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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