Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
