its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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