Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
