i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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