I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
