Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
