She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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