you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
