were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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