too bad you live with your parents still
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
