Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
