am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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