They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
