she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
