we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Girls should come with a carfax report
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
