Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
