If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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