Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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