oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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