you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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