hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
