Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
be right there i have to get my cape
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
