My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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