The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He is an equal opportunity slut.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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