True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
