The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
