You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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