its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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